With an improvisational dance like tango, literally anything can happen. Will we understand what the leader wants to communicate? Will a follower we’ve just met understand the same figure that’s worked with someone else? Will this milonga be more fun than the previous one where we didn’t dance so well? All these uncertainties are scary and exciting at the same time.
I’ve written a number of entries about fear and anxiety while at a milonga. Just about all of them deal with understanding the reasons for the fear, and strategies to cope with it.
Although it’s great to confront fear and work on improving our dancing, we’ll never eliminate our fear entirely. But eliminating fear shouldn’t be the main goal, and we’re just wasting time if we expend mental energy visualizing all the terrible things that will never happen.
Feeling fear at a milonga should be our cue to notice the things that are enjoyable, and working in our favor. Seeing how we’ve made it this far, it’s time to start noticing all that things that are going, and can go right. Both now, and for as long as we continue dancing.