In tango, control is very important.
Every figure requires some measure of control. Some movements we make are big, while others merely require fine tuning. The challenge is maintaining a level of concentration where we can gauge the exact degree of control needed for any given figure.
We don’t maintain control by exerting force on our partners. Wrenching someone around with our arms, even a little, is bad practice in any situation. So is leaning on them for balance. And of course, control is not about doing everything our way, regardless of whether we’re leading or following.
When we take control in tango, we focus more on governing our own actions. Good dancing is not about managing (or micromanaging) our partners, but being aware of how our actions affect our partners, and the dance overall.